one day, charley bought a hot dog in a
snack bar after school.
suddenly, he stopped and raised his head
high. he kept looking at the sky. it lasted two minutes.
a woman passed by. she saw charley looking
at the sky and she stopped and also looked at the sky.
the sky was blue. there were some white
clouds. charley still looked at the sky and didn’t move a bit. the woman also went on looking at the sky.mary
passers-by stopped. they looked at the sky, too.
after a while, charley lowered his head. he
laughed and asked. “what are you looking for in the sky?”
the woman said: “why are you looking at the
sky?”
“i didn’t look at the sky.” charley pointed to his nose, “my nose was
bleeding.”
2. one good turn deserves another
i was having dinner at a restaurant when
harry steele came in. harry worked in a lawyer’s office years ago, but he is
now working at a bank. he gets a good salary, but he always borrows money from
his friends and never pays it back. harry saw me and came and sat at the same
table. he has never borrowed money from me. while he was eating, i asked him to
lend me $2. to my surprise, he gave me the money immediately. “i have never
borrowed any money from you,” harry said, “so now you can pay for my dinner!”
3.good news and bad news
an artist asked the gallery owner if there
had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "i’ve got
good news and bad news," the owner replied. "the good news is
that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate
in value after your death. when i told him it would, he bought all fifteen of
your paintings."
"that’s wonderful!" the
artist exclaimed, "what’s the bad news?". with concern, the
gallery owner replied, "the guy was your doctor."
4.difference
"i can always tell a graduate
class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of
my graduate engineering courses at california state
university in los angeles. when i say,
“good afternoon,” the undergraduates respond, “good afternoon”. but the
graduate students just write it down.
5.charge for bread and butter
some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took
me to a fancy restaurant in now york city. when the bill arrived, there was a
$1.50 charge for bread and butter. dad paid the bill, including the charge for
bread and butter. however, the next day, he sent a letter to the restaurants
stating that the charge was uncalled for. enclosed in the same envelope was a
bill for $ 500 in legal services.
someone from the restaurant called
immediately and asked, "what is this $500 bill for? we never ordered
any legal services."
dad replied, "i never ordered any
bread and butter."
the $1.50 was returned without delay.
6.sleeping pills
bob was having trouble getting to sleep at
night. he went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping
pills.
sunday night bob took the pills, slept well
and was awake before he heard the alarm. he took his time getting to the
office, strolled in and said to his boss: "i didn’t have a bit of
trouble getting up this morning."
"that’s fine," roared the
boss, "but where were you monday and tuesday?"
7.this problem with gas（生词稍多但幽默）
a little old lady goes to the doctor ...
and says, "doctor, i have this problem with gas, but it doesn’t really
bother me too much. they never smell and are always silent. as a matter of
fact, i’ve farted at least 20 times since i’ve been here in your office. you
didn’t know i was farting because they don’t smell and are silent." the
doctor says, "i see. here’s a prescription. take these pills 3 times a
day for seven days and come back to see me next week." the next week
the lady goes back. "doctor," she says, "i don’t
know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent...
stink terribly." the doctor says, "good! now that we’ve
cleared up your sinuses, let’s start working on your hearing."
8.your coat is on fire
the master, to impress on his pupils the
need of thinking before speaking, told them to count fifty before saying
anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. the next day he
was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips
moving rapidly. suddenly the whole class shouted: ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a
hundred. your coat is on fire, sir!
9. may i have your attention please, now i
will give you a basic introduction of mountain tai. it is one of the
"five sacred mountains" and is a natural museum abounding
with cultural relics and artworks, such as red gate palace, mid-heaven gate and
so forth. now it is half past eight, and all the visitors can stay in the
mountain for 8 hours. you should leave at 4:30pm and the sightseeing bus is
waiting at the entrance .it is important for you to remember the bus number.
when you get off the bus please bring your bags and close the bus windows. now
please enjoy your time! thank you.
第五篇：英文短文6篇(100字左右)look at the sky
one day , charley bought a hot dog in a
snack bar after school .
suddenly , he stopped and raised his head
high . he kept looking at the sky . it lasted two minutes .
a woman passed by . she saw charley looking
at the sky . and she stooped and also looked at the sky .
the sky was blue . there were some white
clouds . charley still looked at the sky and didn’t move a bit . the woman also went on looking at the sky .mary
passers-by stopped . they looked at the sky , too .
after a while , charley lowered his head .
he laughed and asked . “what are you looking for in the sky ?”
the woman said : “ why are you looking at
the sky ?”
“i didn’t look at the sky .” charley pointed to his nose .” my nose was
bleeding .”
one good turn deserves another
i was having dinner at a restaurant
whenharry steele came in. harry worked in a lawyer’s office years ago, but he
is now working at a bank. he gets a good salary, but he always borrows money
from his friends and never pays it back. harry saw me and came and sat at the
same table. he has never borrowed money from me. while he was eating, i asked
him to lend me &2. to my surprise, he gave me the money immediately. ‘i
have never borrrowed any money from you,’ harry said,’so now you can pay for my
dinner!’
good news and bad news
an artist asked the gallery owner if there
had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "i’ve got
good news and bad news," the owner replied. "the good news is
that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate
in value after your death. when i told him it would, he bought all fifteen of
your paintings."
"that’s wonderful!" the
artist exclaimed, "what’s the bad news?". with concern, the
gallery owner replied, "the guy was your doctor."
difference
"i can always tell a graduate
class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of
my graduate engineering courses at california state
university in los angeles. "when i
say, ‘good afternoon,’ the undergraduates respond, ‘good afternoon."
but the graduate students just write it down."
charge for bread and butter
some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took
me to a fancy restaurant in now york city. when the bill arrived, there was a
$1.50 charge for bread and butter. dad paid the bill, including the charge for
bread and butter. however, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant
stating that the charge was uncalled for. enclosed in the same envelope was a
bill for $500 in legal services.
someone from the restaurant called
immediately and asked, "what is this $500 bill for? we never ordered
any legal services."
dad replied, "i never ordered any
bread and butter."
the $1.50 was returned without delay.
sleeping pills
bob was having trouble getting to sleep at
night. he went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping
pills.
sunday night bob took the pills, slept well
and was awake before he heard the alarm. he took his time getting to the
office, strolled in and said to his boss: "i didn’t have a bit of
trouble getting up this morning."
"that’s fine," roared the
boss, "but where were you monday and tuesday?"
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